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Hope`s the thing for birds and others in divorce

Hope`s the thing for birds and others in divorce if faced with separation or divorce according to Northwich solicitors Stonehewer Moss; building a different  and sometimes better future when your marriage is over can be hard to do and will  take time and good choices that might arise at  the following key stages:-

  1. How do you want the children to think of their parents ( and therefore themselves) in the future. None of us are here forever and your children carry your decisions now into the future. Will their chances of finding stable relationships be harmed by your choices and when/ how you make them?
  2. Is there enough money to house both of you and the children without rent? If not, how do you see point 1 above working with this point. Should the house be occupied by one of you and sold once the children no longer need it or can another solution be found?
  3. How is it possible to remain civilised with each other until you agree terms about all assets? How can you achieve that? Will instructing a solicitor with an aggressive reputation help? What is your peace of mind and the rest of the family worth?
  4. What assets mature in the next year and how do you agree dealing with them. Pensions are now flexible assets that can be discussed in terms of financial planning for your futures but disposing of assets can cost you in terms of trust and legal bills. When should you put together disclosure and should you instruct a mediator to deal with this stage or a solicitor to negotiate?
  5. How do you feel at each stage. Do  friends worry for you or avoid you; either could be telling you that another way needs to be explored.
  6. What opportunity do you have to add substance to the requirement to look at your earning capacity during the negotiation by either scaling up a different career or even changing course by reducing your work commitments  to share the care of your children. You do not have to be a cash cow and the court has to reflect modern lifestyles.
  7. Once you know what there is, how do you decide the outcome; is a judge needed, a mediator or something like round table negotiation either directly or with a solicitor. Putting your faith in a judge to think exactly as you do could be deluded; get advice from an experienced divorce solicitor.
  8. How do you pay for solicitors and barristers. The equation of legal costs has a tipping point when you have boxed yourself in and only a judge can decide the outcome. Seek fixed fee options without trial and go to court as a last resort. If it becomes unaffordable you may not be listening to advice.
  9. Hope`s the thing for birds and others in divorce reflects the writers time spent reading books rather than arguing at home about putting the bins out. Emily Dickinson lived with her father and wrote poems only found after she died, expressing a complex inner life that could not have been guessed. We are all seeking something other and separation is as good a time to play out that need as other crunch points. As Emily wrote, Hope is the thing with feathers.
  10. For an alternative take on hope, consider  Alexander the Greats` life. The son of a King, educated by Aristotle, Alexander was the ultimate in restless can do seeking for the other. Before he set off on his conquest and it was pointed out how little he had with which to achieve his plans, he commented:”I have my hope”. There you have it; an obscure life as the daughter of a rich man now remembered in private poetry and an adventurers life by the son of a king remembered in towns and history books. If you are not the child of a high achiever, hope for a sensible future and seek advice. Hope`s the thing for birds and others in divorce ; divorce settlements change your past but you can set your own future. Ask yourself why Emily and Alexander felt the need?   Do your children need to feel that way?     Have your chicks enough feathers or is your lawyer just feathering her own  nest.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         For advice negotiation or representation in divorce please call 01606 872200 e mail visit


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Stonehewer Moss Solicitors, Citadel House, Solvay Road, Northwich, Cheshire, CW8 4DP

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Stonehewer Moss Solicitors is a trading style of the Stonehewer Moss Limited, Registered in England No. 542 6583 and PIPLaw
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