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Are you suffering the cycle of co dependence on separation

Are you suffering the cycle of co dependence on separation from a partner. There is no doubt as psychological, thinking, animals that our environments in an outside relationships can have an impact when that situation or relationships changes. Specialist family law solicitors Stonehewer Moss have researched on line American theories of co dependence that they find reflected in the struggles of their family clients. Michael Brennan, an accredited solicitor at the Northwich  solicitors, has 25 years experience of family law issues and emphasises in his practice the need to take account of the emotional and time issues along with the legal problem itself.

Co dependence might have created an unhealthy family arrangement that may need to be addressed by the Court. The symptoms are:-

Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

  • An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
  • A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
  • A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
  • A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
  • An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
  • An extreme need for approval and recognition
  • A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
  • A compelling need to control others
  • Lack of trust in self and/or others
  • Fear of being abandoned or alone
  • Difficulty identifying feelings
  • Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
  • Problems with intimacy/boundaries
  • Chronic anger
  • Lying/dishonesty
  • Poor communications
  • Difficulty making decisions

Michael remarks,”I preface my remarks with a clear warning that solicitors are not usually also psychologists and this research information covers a broad spectrum of feelings that many of us may have without having a label to hang upon ourselves as human beings. Often time is the factor you need to be aware of; do you have to address the legal issue immediately or can it wait. Those who are really struggling may benefit from therapy or counselling. I have copied a questionnaire below just as a point of interest. If it applies to you in several instances, consider discussing it with your gp. Ensure your solicitor is aware if you are struggling to cope. Often the issue can wait. Family law issues are often resolved by the law because we feel something must be done, but sometimes an agreement short of court drama is possible.

 

Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-dependency

This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?

3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?

4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?

5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?

6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?

7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?

8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?

9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?

10. Have you ever felt inadequate?

11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?

12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?

13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?

14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?

15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?

16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?

17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?

18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?

19. Do you have trouble asking for help?

20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

For a no obligation discussion of legal issues arising from family breakdown call 01606872200 e mail info@piplaw.co.uk visit www.stonehewermoss.co.uk

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Stonehewer Moss Family Solicitors, Citadel House, Solvay Road, Northwich, Cheshire, CW8 4DP

Family and Corporate Solicitors Northwich covering Chester, Crewe, Knutsford, Macclesfield, Middlewich, Northwich, Runcorn, Sandbach, Warrington, Winsford, and across Cheshire.

Stonehewer Moss Solicitors is a trading style of the Stonehewer Moss Limited, Registered in England No. 542 6583
which is a firm of solicitors authorised and regulated by the the Solicitors Regulation Authority No. 471159

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